the-robot-condese:

tiny-little-nebula:

taloa-nashoba:

thatthirstyniggafromclass:

misconceptions about strippers. 

pussy preach more sense than the fuckin government.

I want to break necks when people shade strippers. Let’s see your janky ass get out there and look that cute in 6 inch heels for 8 hours, smiling the entire time, stroking egos, pretending a dude’s breath doesn’t smell like a rotten animal.

Truth.

My sister has a Masters in Education. She got a job at one of the poorest schools in the city, but didn’t make enough money to pay to keep her tiny house heated through the Oregon winter or buy enough food or take her dog to the vet (first person who drops the word rehome gets a kick in the face.) so she quit and the only job she could get because she’s “overqualified” to work at Fred Meyers was at a strip club because she minored in ballet. I think people forget that stripping is like any other job: you have to have some experience.

And all those crumpled one dollar bills? 20% of that goes back into the club because strippers are renting the stages they dance on. Sometimes it’s more.

Despite all of that, my sister makes more money than she ever did because she works 80 hour weeks and literally never takes a day off. She teaches classes to drunk white girls, she does private parties, she does entertainment for conferences and shows. 

When I had to go to the ER last February and got a bill for $800 that I couldn’t pay, my sister sent me money so I wouldn’t be sent to collections. 

My sister is the classiest motherfucker in a pair of six inch heels. Anyone who calls her a dumb slut or a hoe gets their shit wrecked.

that’s the best thing i ever just heard get said

Reblogged from theawkwardokapi

baroquen-sol:

seerofsarcasm:

confusedtree:

dspazdoesntcare:

What the hell did I just watch? 

It’s me pretending to be a video game character what is wrong with you it’s pretty straight-forward

Wow this is really accurate right down to the breathing.

I’ve never hit reblog so fast in my life.

cupcakes-and-ouija-boards:

stephluvvsyou:

tigerhazard:

jamdoughnutmagician:

there is not one search term here that isn’t magical

i know ive reblogged this before at least twice but i decided to read through the entire thing this time and im in pain from how hard i am laughing please forgive me

did a ghost do my taxes. i’m scared of eating ribbons.

This may be the most hilarious list ever.

"am I old enough to walk"

Reblogged from luaru

jon-vo:

pondomorphous:

jon-vo:

lilysinthefall:

pyralsnout:

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Pluto Tumblr Posts photoset

(You’re welcome)

OHANA MEANS FAMILY
VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

the wrath of Pluto

It’s hard to take any of this seriously. Can you people please stop crying over and jerking off to systematic classifications of stellar bodies? Pluto isn’t gone because it isn’t called a planet anymore. It’s not as if calling it a ‘dwarf planet’ has physically diminished its ability to do whatever it started to do eons ago, so please chill the fuck out. Plus, given the radius of Pluto’s orbit, it probably doesn’t even know that it’s a ‘planet’ as of yet, so no feelings have been hurt.

Viva la Pluto fuck you

smh

Reblogged from jon-vo